Grades are a tough one. How hard to push? On the one hand, getting a C+ in most public schools today requires little more than showing up and turning in some of minimal effort on the home work. So from that stand point, just about any kid with a pulse should be able to get a C in high school.
On the other hand, if a kid is self motivated, they can obtain unbelivable heights. I’ve seen it first hand in my own kids. They also can have very different motivations to attain very different goals. And sometimes, those goals are at odds with “good” grades. The tough choice for the parent is will those goals do the kid right in the long run.
For example, my eldest was a straight A in high school and highly recruited by major universities all across the country. The kid worked his butt of for it and got every thing he deserved. He’s now enjoying the fruits of that labor. I firmly believe that any kid with average intelligence can attain what he has attained, if they want to bad enough. But the bigger question is, can you force a kid to attain that level. In some ways, I think that is a bit like pushing a rope uphill.
The younger one strugles through the basic classes. Yet in music, its straight A. Its not because of any intellegence failings, rather is a pursut of different goals. Do I as a parent beat him down on the world history grade when its the music that lights his rockets? I think its our job as parents to help the kid develop goals and give them the tools they need to attain those goals. We then have to sit back, watch and hope they chose wisely.